Preparing a party.

ASD Mummy with issues.

Next weekend is D’s 7th birthday.   It hardly seems possible that 7 years ago today I was having a final scan because he was playing up even before he was born, and hadn’t want to turn, but finally had.   The one thing I remember of that day, was the blind panic I was in after the scan.   Why you might ask, was there anything wrong with the baby?   Nothing so major.    The scan showed this little alien with a mass of hair, it was so obvious!    My panic was he was going to be a girl!     Our house wouldn’t be suitable to have kids of different sexes, and I had been confident all through the pregnancy that he was going to be Daniel, and not Hannah – the name we had decided upon should we be wrong!   Luckily for us, he was just a gorgeous boy with a mass of…

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This Week in The Archers – Week Ending 25 April 2014

It was the biggest week we’ve had in Ambridge for quite a while. It was the week of the Wedding of the Year – and Alan marks his Easter Sermon, and the new organ, with a name check for Tom and Kirsty. Kirsty of course is delighted, as she’s carried Tom in the wedding excitement stakes for weeks. The pressure seemed to be building now for the wedding to go ahead! The Sermon seemed all about the Archer clan this week – not just Tom, but Jill got a little mention with Alan giving a nod to Phil regarding the organ. Will it give Jill full closure over Phil just after she’d cut her ties with Glebe by moving back to Brookfield for good?

Its not all good for the Archers though. Shula is still having a tough time accepting Dan’s decision to head off to Sandhurst and join the army. She should be delighted he’s remembered he’s an entitled Archer who ignored going in as a private and going for the officer class. Dan makes an effort to get Shula to understand, but she seems unable – or unwilling – to do so.

Its all hands to the pump at the Bull for Easter – well, at least those of another Archer, Kenton. His mind is on Jolene with her bumper Easter egg, but at least he’s got time to pass on some wedding advice to Tom. I think there’s no doubt that Kenton and Jolene are happy together, although Tom just sees the bickering. The thought of them making up just can’t bbe stomached! Still, it sounded like Tom is just trying to convince himself that he and Kirsty can be the same. Kirsty isn’t thinking on holding back, but Kenton hardly seems any help at all for Tom.

The wedding plans were – no surprise – gathering a head of steam, but so were the omens. Tom’s ring not really fitting – he made a pretty poor fist of telling Kirsty that it fitted fine. Tom hasn’t been enthusiastic about the wedding for weeks, and the buying of the rings didn’t help hm at all. What is even more bizarre is the fact that Kirsty wasn’t picking up on it at all. Maybe, just maybe they weren’t in tune with each other at all in the first place? Kirsty couldn’t wait for the wedding, and her little surprise with the rings didn’t impress Tom too much and neither did Pat’s suggestion to get a surprise for Kirsty. It was already sounding that it was much more likely to be a shock than a surprise. Still, at least Tony had his priorities right. You can rely on the carrots. They’ll definitely need drilling, and will definitely grow. Focus on the positive. There was certainly precious little of that coming from Tom at the run through with Alan down at St Stephens.

The omens continued to pile up – by the day it seemed. Kirsty’s larks were being slightly overshadowed by the the negative ones. Surely Joe must have had one for the dead pheasant? When the pheasant is dead, ye shall not wed? Well, maybe not. Still there was always likely to be worse to come, and it was Helen, using Henry as her little proxy for disaster. Honestly, giving Henry a cup of blackcurrant and have him sit virtually next to Kirsty in her dress? Predictably, disaster did strike right on cue, with Henry’s juice landing right on Kirsty’s dress. “Its all off” wailed Kirrsty. Well, maybe it was the warning she needed. Still, Helen came to the “rescue” by getting a change of dress – and saving Kirsty’s designer dress for herself?

Kirsty’s little disaster was a big warning for her, but Tom was fighting his own demons. It seemed that his heart to heart with Tony might be the thing he needed to give him the courage to plough ahead with the wedding, but no. Sadly Tony had to get that hideously wrong. When Tom needed his dad to tell him he was proud of who Tom was, he just had to go and tell him that he and Pat more-or-less saw him as John come again. John this, John that. It was a complete disaster, and certainly had Tom more confused than ever. When the dust all does settle, I think we’ll find that this was the single moment that tipped the balance for Tom. As if that weren’t enough though, his “best man” Roy’s wedding/marriage disaster anecdotes weren’t really what a man who’s nerves were already frayed needed to hear. After his chat with Tony, it was the completely wrong message. As the confusion mounted, where else could Tom turn than to Peggy? At last it came out, and that Tom wanted to put a stop to the wedding was no surprise. Turns out he had always resented being put in the position of John II, and Tony’s words of wisdom were just the last straw. Peggy did give him the advice he needed, but Tom only thinks of himself, and there was no chance he’d speak to Kirsty before the big day. He couldn’t even bring himself to confide in Helen. The thunder storm was ominous, but would Tom follow Peggy’s advice?

Finally, the day itself came. Kisty was full of the joys, which should have forewarned us all. Just as her joy was unconfined, Tom was dealt another blow with a reminder of John arriving in the form of the tractor that killed him. A reminder that it killed the Tom that was and may have been? It was the end for Tom, but he waited until the very last second to drop a shocking bombshell on Kirsty on the very verge of her wedding Kirsty’s agonised scream was sadly the expected end to this saga.. Sad is it may seem, it saved from greater heartache, but the humiliation visited on her by Tom was awful.

The aftermath might go on for some time, but it didn’t take long for Kirsty to start pointing the finger. Helen’s revelation that Helen knew of Tom”s doubts was a touch paper being lit that lead to a huge explosion. The possibility that Tom may end it maybe never occurred to Helen, or she wasn’t that much of a friend to Kirsty in the first place. Kirsty was enraged by it all, and the their friendship is the first casualty of Tom’s me, me me thinking. It seems though that Kirsty is just at the head of a line, Helen was surprisingly furious at Tom for crushing a friendship that she valued – despite Kirsty”s opinion on Rob. Kirsty stood by her, but Helen couldn’t stand by her.

Predictably, Tony was similarly furious. He gave Tom both barrels, but couldn’t resist reminding Tom of John again. You have to wonder what this is all going to do to Tom’s current fragiile mental state. But was was a bit of a surprise was Peggy. She has always seemed to pander to all of Tom’s whims, but her controlled anger at Tom refusing to listen to her advice clearly shocked Tom. He was being nicely isolated by his own family. Well Tom, as a farmer, you’ll just have to reap what you sow.

Week Ending 18 April 2014

Aowwwww. I’ve got toothache!

ASD Mummy with issues.

My teeth has pretty much been a life long nightmare.    In fact when you think about it, teeth are one of the biggest design flaws of the human body.    

After a nightmare of treatment from one dentist, I finally found one who was going to be proactive in sorting out my dental problems.     He came up with a plan of action which would take about six months to complete.  Well, after additional work being needed we are now over a year since it all began.   All has gone well with the exception of one tooth which became assessed.   I have had antibiotics which while taking them calm the pain but as soon as I finish a course, the pain returns.     I have therefore had several courses of the drugs.

Monday I was due to return for an appointment to finally have root canal work done this problem tooth.    It had…

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The Wedding that Never Was

It was meant to be the wedding of the year. Another on of the Archers was
due to marry, this time it was Tom who was due to make another Mrs Archer,
this time Kirsty being the “lucky” girl. It seemed like Kirsty had never
really gotten over Tom after their first break up – well, when Tom went
behind her back with a supermarket buyer. She caught Tom at the right time
from his break up with Brenda. Even that far back, Kirsty should have had
alarm bells ringing. Tom was right on the rebound from Brenda, and his
desire to immediately jump back into bed with Kirsty should have been a
warning, but she saw it as her chance to become an entitled Archer, so
maybe she chose to ignore the warning.

From her side alone, the wedding did seem like a dead cert, although her
humming over the wedding dress did seem like she wasn’t absolutely certain
it was the right thing to do. Was her subconscious telling her that she was
about to make a titanic mistake? Tom seemed to be making all the right
noises, but as we all know, there is one person that Tom loves beyond all
others – Tom himself. Memory of their first break up might have been
another warning that Tom will just put himself first, irrespective of the
cost to others. His current fight with Tony over the direction of Bridge
Farm and their business was indicative of that. To hear Tom complain to
Tony that he would listen to no one, and would make unilateral decisions
was a big case of the pot calling the kettle black.

But as far as the wedding goes, it did seem a while back that Tom wasn’t
really thinking straight. For a man obsessed with his business and
controlling costs, he went all out on an expensive vanity project wedding.
Money was suddenly no object (thanks to Peggy again) but coming at a time
where there was a threat to his business thanks to potential TB at Bridge
Farm through Tony’s cows, spending thousands at such a time where there was
potential threats to his business seemed incredibly foolhardy. I’m
surprised Tom didn’t come out and say it and at least suggest to Kirsty
they control wedding costs. But no, he went and involved Alice. That’s just
going to have the opposite effect on cost. And then there was the bespoke
house, bought in a fit of pique over Tony’s direction for Bridge Farm. Tag
on a 2-week holiday to Costa Rica, and it was getting an expensive bit of
business that had the potential to drag Bridge Farm under if TB took hold
in the cows and pigs.

But all through it was Kirsty’s excitement. But it was an excitement that
Tom just never seemed to share. It seemed like weeks ago I thought it had
the air of a wedding doomed never to happen. Every time Kirsty got excited,
or had plans to discuss, Tom was almost dismissive. “Do what you think is
best” seemed his stock response to Kirsty. There were the countless chats
with Kenton, Roy, Rob etc, each of them giving him wedding/marriage
disaster stories. There was very little positivity coming his way that may
have encouraged to get him over those doubts. But it was his chat with Tony
just 2 days before the event that, for me, clinched the deal for Tom. Tony
made it clear that he and Pat more-or-less see Tom as John born again, and
not Tom himself. It seemed to remind Tom of how he’d been expected to fill
the role that John vacated just to please Tony and Pat.

After that little chat, all Tom needed was someone to support his need to
call the wedding off. Who else would Tom turn to when things were going
pear-shaped? Peggy of course. Peggy sees Tom as her Golden Child, and he
can do no wrong. She’s unstintingly supportive of him, and that gives her a
great power over Tom. His now convenient excuse that he was being made to
feel like John come again, and that he’d forgotten who Tom really was, was
laid out to Peggy. Unsurprisingly, what Tom wanted (her approval to knock
it on the head), Tom got. Maybe the marriage would have been a sham, but
did Peggy really think of Kirsty at all? Tom’s reasons for not going
through with the wedding had nothing to do with Kirsty, it was all about
himself as usual. And Peggy backed him up, as usual. If it had been about
Kirsty, he might have taken Peggy’s advice and told her before it was all
too late. Waiting until Kirsty had been paraded through Ambridge, and had
arrived at the church? That’s just about Tom.

Predictably, Kirsty was distraught when her cherished dream of becoming an
Archer had been cruelly taken away from her at the last second. Her howl of
anguish was so full of pain, in contrast to Tom’s crocodile tears. That was
bad enough, but the aftermath should be interesting. What will Tony think
of Peggy telling Tom to stop the wedding? It may well have just been Peggy
being supportive of Tom, but a suggestion from Peggy is as good as telling
as far as Tom is concerned. She slapped Tony down with her will, and now
she’s stopped the wedding of his only son? More friction coming there.

And how will Tom now react? He’s at an all time low. Maybe he did love
Kirsty, and finally ending it for good may well devastate him. But memories
of John, and how he’s been expected to fill the gap he left leaving Tom in
the midst of an identity crisis could well send him over the edge. Will he
become suicidal? Tom does think a lot of himself maybe for that, but who he
thought he was has been ripped away from him. Tony might well take the
responsibility for that. He lost John, and Tom being Tom wasn’t enough for
him and Pat. Peggy may well have something to say about that.

And then there’s Helen’s relationship with Kirsty. Helen has always been
close to Tom but how will she react after seeing him betray one of her
closest friends in such a publicly cruel way? Kirsty’s open disapproval of
Helen’s relationship with Rob Titchner did create some friction between
them. Kirsty’s continual reminding of Helen that Rob had gone behind the
back of his wife fell on deaf ears for Helen, but now her own brother has
done something even more cruel to Kirsty. Will it be the breaking point for
their relationship. All we need is for Brenda to make one more appearance
to tell them all, “I told you so.”

I suppose the wedding being called off was a slight surprise despite all
the omens – the late wedding dress catastrophe not least amongst them. But
we’ve seen in the past where we’ve expected a sad end to a storyline, only
for things to go on as normal with a tame ending. It would have surprised
no one if Tom had put doubts behind him and went through with it out of a
sense of duty to Kirsty, Tony and Pat. Ultimately though its come as no
real shock that Tom put himself first. I suppose you have to protect
yourself, as if you don’t then no one else will, but his story line has the
potential to run and run.

Returning to healthy eating.

ASD Mummy with issues.

While on holiday we pigged out. It is part of being on holiday isn’t it?

Getting in and out of the swimming pool every day made me realise I have let my good deeds of last year slide so much they were out of sight. Hubby agreed when I said we needed to get back to healthy eating. I also need to get back to exercising – Hubby cycles 15 miles a day so that’s not a problem for him.

Coming home to the Easter weekend, meant there was a lot of chocolate in the house – even though I didn’t get an egg, when I gave Hubby his, he asked if I had bought one for him to give to me!!!! It wouldn’t be fair for the boys to have these delights in front of them and tell them they were unable to eat them, so instead, we have…

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The OT

ASD Mummy with issues.

Yesterday was D’s long-awaited trip to the occupational therapist. I say long-awaited as it was last June the whole process began to get him looked at after the school thought it would be a good idea because of his wonky fingers – which have since been diagnosed as hyper mobility.

His appointment was after lunch, so he had the morning at school, and wasn’t too happy at that prospect! I think the thought of seeing yet another new person to prod him about was worrying him ever so slightly. He was fine though when I picked him up, and despite the rain, we went to have a picnic with Hubby – he works in a building right next door to the hospital.

As the time of the appointment approached, he began to ask what they would be doing to him – I of course couldn’t give him an exact answer…

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