If I wrote The Archers

Those of us who listen to the Archers will want the characters to develop in a certain way, for storylines to go this way or that and so on. The script writers will continually delight and infuriate us in equal measure on a regular basis. To the point we ask, “why have they done that?” or “why couldn’t this happen?” Well, I’ve got my own ideas! Agree with them or not!

Characters No More

Its maybe the most asked question – who would you  kill off? The danger of course with killing off too many characters we don’t like is that The Archers would become just too dull. Sometimes its fun to rant at the radio at the ridiculous antics of Helen. It would be tempting to kill her off, but she is there to remind us that no matter how ridiculous our lives might be, it could be worse! Like many however,  I would be delighted if Darrell got  on the bus to Felpersham for good. I’ve written before about his behaviour, and its getting worse. I know he’s struggling, but somehow its impossible to feel any sympathy for him. I might also be tempted to have Pip stay in Yorkshire permanently. He flip-flopping between a pleasant and vile young woman  makes  me  wish she weren’t there at all. Kathy is another one I could live without. What purpose does she serve in Ambridge? Maybe she should take the Felpersham job, and just move there. For good. Other  than that, I’d keep the rest, but would spice things up with two or three new characters.

What Would I l Like to Happen?

Some of it  (probably all of it) is unlikely to ever come to pass but that never stops us for coming up with our own plot developments. Listening to Will Grundy’s irritating voice tonight reminds me of one development I’d love to see – he loses his job. He loves lording it over Ed with all his troubles. Will thinks he has the perfect family, but it would be brilliant to  see the stress that being out of  work and being semi-reliant on others would do to him.

Matt has seen more than his fair share of tough times. His time inside for fraud, teething troubles with Amside, Lillian’s affair with Paul then finally his run-in with Russian gangsters have all put him right on the back foot. I’d like Matt to make a big time comeback. I hope Amside really takes off – if Anthea remains part of the team, they’ve got a chance – and that Matt gets in a position to put one over on Brian.

I’d like to see a romance between two of the older characters for a change. It seemed that Jim and Christine might make a go if it, but that all went so quiet. I hope Jim and Christine rekindle it  and they make it all the way to the alter. Could Christine even persuade Jim inside the doors of St Stephens for the tying of the knot? Let’s hope so!

Maybe life could get a bit easier for  Ed and Emma. Ed constantly seems on the end of bad luck and life never seems easy for him and Emma. All the while they look at Will and the perfect Nic and see how easy they have it.

Vicky looks like she might fall on tough times with Bethany. She’s realising how difficult it can be with a special needs child. She’s getting precious little support from Mike who remains wrapped up in his own world. I’d give Vicky the support she needs from Mike. I think I’d also make Bethany a little more accepted in Ambridge, like perfect little Poppy.

A real long shot is one concerning Fallon and Jazzer. Her relationship with Reece just doesn’t seem right, and Jazzer continues to love her from afar. I suspect Jazzer would instantly end his womanising if he landed Fallon. He’d worship her, and no mistake. It might sound odd to say it, but they’d be great together, and Fallon would be the making of Jazzer.

It would also be nice for Joe to  have a last hurrah. His declining years hasn’t been easy for Ambridge’s most senior resident. Maybe his little windfall from he dice with death at Grey Gables will be the start of something better for Joe. He doesn’t ask for much, but it would be good for him to have at least one big adventure. His time with Ambridge’s american visitor was lovely. Too much to ask for Joe to have a little bit of companionship?

Most of that all seems like too many good news storylines, so I doubt we’ll seen any of them come to fruition, but there’s nothing wrong with hoping!


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