Mums of Children with Autism – Happy Mother’s Day!

As all of you will know, today is Mother’s Day (at least in the UK), so first of all, Happy Mother’s Day to all you Mum’s out there. Without wanting to be patronising, you all do a fantastic job each and every day, and its a little sad that some people think that making an effort on one day a year makes up for not bothering the other 364! But that’s another story.

I’ve wished my mum a Happy Mother’s Day. I see my mum with the boys regularly – usually on a Sunday, I take the boys over to see their granny (Mum lives about 10 miles away) so Jane can have some ‘me time’ at least once during the week. While they are running riot at my mum’s, watching DVDs, eating pizza (usually!) and drinking lemonade, Jane has the peace to do her competitions (she’s an avid comper, and picks up prizes fairly regularly) and have a long soak in the bath. But today, the boys and I are at home. Daniel has already been in overdrive. He made a fabulous card at home (he loves his crafts), another at school as well as a model of flowers. Matthew also made mummy a card, which were all proudly handed over this morning. Then it was right downstairs to do toasted brioche with plum jam and a cup of tea! Its roast chicken & veg for lunch, so its almost time to get that ready.

Jane deserves it all. The boys love her to bits, even though at times Matthew finds that very difficult to express. Being a mum to one ASD child is hard, but two? I’m out at work during the day, Monday to Friday, so its Jane that’s left to deal with the fighting from 6am, getting them downstairs and breakfasted, getting them into their school clothes, bags prepared and up to the school. Then it all resumes at 320pm when she picks them up. That’s not to say its feet up time in between. Oh no. Usually, there’s the dishwasher to be emptied, the washing to sort and put on, the pegging out the completed loads, cleaning up after all her boys (me included) whilst having to run after her own mum. In amongst it all, Jane manages to do a lot of reading on autism & aspergers, and is a tremendous source of information for me. It doesn’t end there of course. There’s still two boys, one of whom is very resistant to doing homework, to fight through their school work, before getting the tea prepared. Its all go from 6am to 8pm. That’s more than enough for any mum, but for anyone with ASD children in the house, having to cope, develop strategies for managing the children, entertain them, try to ferret out what ever happens to be bothering them (both find it hard to express how they feel, or let us know if anything is troubling them – well, it just adds to the daily grind of being a mum at times.

Jane does an amazing job though, and the boys do appreciate it, even though they probably don’t show it often. Both boys will sometimes give mummy a hug out of the blue, just to remind her that they do care. They’re lucky to have such a great mum. Happy Mother’s Day Jane!


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